Before I write about the stress of the past 5 days, I would like to make it very clear that we are still very excited about adopting and bringing Ana home. However, I think sometimes we all sugarcoat the details or just don't tell the bad parts. So, along with all the good that has and will yet come out of this journey we are taking - the adoption process causes a lot of stress: emotional, family and marital, financial.
We realized around Thursday last week that between Kyle's two surgeries and the expenses involved there(thank you PSU for changing our insurance this year!) plus other expenses (a laptop to stay connected to home since we both use ones from work, luggage that was easier to get around Ukraine than we what had, tickets that were more than we budgeted for (by over $1000)) we were about 7-8 thousand dollars short of our goal. This was an enormous concern and made for a very bad weekend in the Raabe house.
I think that for 4 days straight, Jim and I had more intense arguments than we have ever had. What do we do? What can we sell? Then of course the fights about what we would sell - the old suburban? Jim's tools?Add that to the fact that for quite a few years we have lived debt free - until we bought the suburban last year. We worked hard to get there and have enjoyed the less stressful life that brings. Every time we add on more debt, I think the stress level has been rising.
In the end, we added more debt, found more receipts for our flex benefits, had more money in an account than we realized and were handed a check today by Jim's coworker. We would still like to have a little more of a cushion than we have to go to a foreign country but in the end, I am happy to say that it looks like we will just make it. God is Good! Sometimes it is just hard to see it at the time.
Beyond the financial stress, there is the emotional and family stress. The process is time consuming, demanding and draining. There were times that I wondered how in the world we were supposed to have jobs and kids and be able to complete everything. Even through last week when I was spending hours looking for plane tickets or when Jim spent hours trying to convince CheapTickets that the mistakes on the tickets were made by them and they needed changed for free. I often felt stress about the time it was taking away from the kids and away from our jobs just being so consumed in getting to the end. Obviously, our kids have survived and so have our jobs but there were times when I just didn't think we would make it through.
It seems like I am the only one in the family experiencing "the being away, in another country for 3 weeks stress." And then coming home without Jim and dealing with the back to school/work, getting caught up, fall activities chaos for the weeks that he is still in Ukraine. The kids and I get back on a Sat. night. That Sunday, jet lag and all, we will have soccer, major grocery shopping, school preparing with back to the routine on Monday - should be interesting! I am stressed and feeling so much anxiety about every part of the trip (except for the excitement of finally seeing Ana!). And about every part of getting ready for the trip - school work, packing (can't even think of it right now!), cleaning the house for someone to stay and take care of the dogs, school shopping, the list goes on and on...
We also found out that Jim's mom's back surgery has finally been scheduled for August 30th. We will not be here for it or for most of her recovery.
Whew! There it is. I know that in a few months, once we are all home as a family, we will look back and not much of this will matter. But right now it is real and stressful and hard. But the end result will be worth all of it and more!
Please Pray!
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